Name Guru app in Texas

Morning sportsfans, and what a tremendous life.......

Here is the latest from the markets...namely that involving "Why shouldn't I call my son Clint?", now of course, the application called 'Name Guru'.
Early on the crowd was volatile and results unpredictable, and even early-on it seemed it was a day for people wanting to know if I could guess their name.
'Betcha' cant guess mine?" this bloke says to me, cocky as all hell.
"Sure I can," I said. "....Jim."
"Hah! Wrong. Go on - guess again...."
I knew I was screwed. "Nah, bugger it. What's your name?"
He looked at me, steely-eyed. ".......Dixie."
"How many Dixies you met?"
"One. Me."


Thirty minutes later a 'Jim' did appear.

Jim: Option A: Brainwashed by society to the conformities of what constitutes a strong man in a rural environment, Jim, while a pleasant and generous individual, is incapable of dealing with highly complex issues. He is a simple fellow at his core, so maybe he's lucky that he lives a simple life.
Option B: Good bloke.




Thankyou Jim........




Next of course we had the dastardly trio from Melbourne? Is that right? From left to right, Maria, Rosa and Maria.

Maria: Her mum taught her to cook and that's great, but that isn't one five hundreth of the story. And she loves with all her might.

Rosa: Rosa is short in stature, of Italian descent and she has beautiful eyes. However, DO NOT anger her unless you feel like being on the receiving end of a beating. (Hello Rosa, you look wonderful, by the way!xx)



Maria, left, grabbed me and says, "Do you know, my mum did teach me to cook?..."

What delicious gals. thankyou....





Sarah Jessica Parker, I mean, Audrey, on the left arrvied with Ian. Two of my favourite name theories from the Name Guru app. Sadly, not many Audreys exist in the wild now, and I discussed with Ian, he is possibly the youngest Ian in Australia.....

Audrey: An English Literature graduate who lost her virginity way too late. But that's okay because she now makes a wonderful older lover.

Ian: The sound of a teaspoon being droppped onto a tiled floor. The ungianly twang is noise without being painful and more often it leaves a mess, but did you ever stop and study the shape of the pattern of the mess? Check it out next time. You might be surprised to discover the artist that lies within.

Yep. Looked like love to me.....(if you want that app, you two, head to www.nameguruapp.com)




Now, Robert, (on the bottom) congratulations!! Bloody congratulations! Why? Because too few 'Roberts' retain a sense of houmour on reading their name theory....

Robert: Borish.

Ladies and gentlemen, Robert read his name theory and laughed so hard and with so much heart that it reverberated throughout the markets. Honestly. So bloody bravo sir!!

Luke, above, didn't mind it either.

Luke: Luke exists out there somewhere between a fluke and a stroke of genius. He courts disaster with a grin on his face but he can easily fall into a heap if the wind changes direction.




Quite early on Saturday, this duo rock up and he too muttered something about trying to guess his name. I didn't even have to think hard about it.

"Richard," I said.
And all his bravado was vanished from his face. Richard it was. Goodafternoon to you Richard. But your wife?? Is it Sandra???? Or Alison??? (I lost that page of my bloody notepad!)


Richard: The knight in shining armour with an ill-fitting helmet that badly impedes his vision 80% of the time. He rides a big black stallion not dissimilar to that ridden by Cassandra, although his task of riding anywhere quickly is made far more difficult because the horse continually tries to throw him for its personal amusement.


God bless you Richard!


Below, naturally, we have Kate and Todd. Good sports, for I grabbed them from the crowd due to their spectacular look. A lovely couple nonetheless, and arguably the most 'unconventional' Kate ever born.....

Kate: I'd check for rocks first but Kate is the name of the breathe you take before diving into a perfect blue sea. If it's a good day you'll see the rocks, no worries, and if it's a really good day, she'll take your breathe away. No question.

Todd: Todd rhymes with Oops. Not in a catastrophic way, mind you, more in the, I-forgot-to-feed-the-cat-but-now-that-I've-remembered-I-will, kind of way.

....dont believe the hype Todd!




But I'd be bloody careful of Blanche, though!(From the Name Guru app...)

Blanche: Blanche lives with her dripping jewellery at a sea-side mansion at one of the 'finer' locales inside Sydney harbour, and she's gruff like that old troll that lives under the bridge and eats children.


She read her name theory, twice, looked back to me, confused. "What??" she screamed.
Blanche, god bless you too! xx





And last but not least - fair dinkum. I'm sitting at my stall, minding my own business, when this maelstrom arrives in the form of the stunning looking family below. The story goes like this- Stu and Blair(parents) live in Dallas, Texas. He's an Aussie, she's American, but Stu's mum sent them "Why shouldn't I call my son Clint?" last year when Blair was pregnant again. Evidently they consulted the book directly to name their second son.
"Here you go," Blair says to me. "His name is Rowan, and you named him!"

(Stu, Xavier, Rowan, Blair)

Rowan: Patient and contained, Rowan is the sort of bloke who makes an excellent professional photographer.

Xavier (his older brother): A private school boy and all round nice guy. He won't set the world on fire but he won't bore us to death either. Probably.

Stu: Soft like a sponge, Stu can deal with any sitution. He's probably the most adaptable and malleable of all the male species and a better absorber of shock or strangeness does not exist. One day he'll be canonised and we will then know him as St. Stu. And rightly so.

Blair: Tough on the surface, sensitive in the middle, Blair does what it takes and in a quielty determined way, (bullshit, in this case) even though her methods and her dreams seemingly unrealistic.

Yeah, I know people use the thing as a baby-name book but it still and will always, freak me out. Very humbling. But, they invited me to Dallas to come stay, and for the grand USA radio tour I think I will. Plus, I got my mash-potato recipe from a restaurant in Dallas, so that alone is worth going back for.

What a wonderful life.

www.nameguruapp.com

love hock

'Why shouldn't I call my son Clint?'......

Yes, my dream of building and flying my own Spitfire received a timely reminder two days ago when "Jess" turned up to the stall of the book, "Why shouldn't I call my son Clint?" with one tattooed on her leg. Her grandfather was a fighter pilot in the RAF in world war 2. Lovely girl and a lovely leg.



From the Name Guru app/book....

Jess: Jess may or may not be the most stunning girl in the room, but she certainly does nothing by halves......







And proof that neither the app or the book are accurate all the time - from the Name Guru app....







Colleen: Another name that is impossible to say without wincing like you've just jammed a splinter beneath your finger nail. Is this why Colleens can be so ghastly?







Piffle, I say!! Colleen, pictured left was just delightful.......







and she bought the app. what a gal?

In other news, another swimmer/surfer was killed in Western Australia this week by a white pointer. Danni Karis, my cousin and singer/songwriter, messaged me from Sydney with thoughts of, "The Arc of Tommy Shoalhaven". The novel I wrote a few years back that tells of a young guy who becomes a ghost inside a great white after having been killed by it.


Bloody weird world, isnt it?

A few months after the book was released I flew to the UK, and took a stack of books to sell on the plane. The flight was empty and so I only sold one copy - to an Emirates hostess whose good friend was killed by a great white a few months earlier while leading a snorkelling tour at the Abrolos Islands.

Anyway, here's to living and breathing in a bizarre world.

goodluck and what a wonderful life!!

hock

a day at the Eumundi markets.......

Greetings sportsfans, and welcome to this market day, Saturday just gone, here at the Eumdundi markets, 20km west of Noosa.

Hocking, of course, was in fine fettle and all runners expceted a good day of racing (selling), and things got off to a frantic beginning.

Hocking, of course, selling his remarkable comedic book, "Why shouldn't I call my son Clint?", began well.

Music selection was critical and he began brilliantly. Early on all he seemed to meet were Julies and Kristys and Joels. True, most Joels are about as cluey as a packet of chips, but at least they're happy souls with a good sense of humour, and they love a backward facing cap.

Rounding the first bend the sun began to shine and the punters hit their straps. More Roberts (borish) were in attendance than normal but they were fighting hard. A glorious textbook Josephine blazed into the stall as if stepping out of a limousine at the Cannes Film Festival. (See below)

Oh praise thine Josephine! And the day only got better after that.

Rounding the turn for home and who would arrive, but a previous customer called Tony(pictured left), who damn-near leapt across the table to give me a hug when he saw me.

"I bought your book man! I love it!" he yelled.

"So you enjoy the book then, Tony? That's great! Thanks mate."

"I use it to pick-up girls!" he said, gushing with delight.

I asked him how he managed that feat and says, "It's easy. I just take the book to the pub, walk up to a girl I like, pull the book out and ask her her name. In two seconds she's ripped the book out of my hands and pissing herself."

"Are you serious?" I asked.

"I met my current girlfriend like that. It's amazing," he said.

Tony's sister, on the left hand side of the photo, confirmed the story.

So, thankyou Tony.

Just as the day finished, Glenis turned up with her husband. (Glenis, the book describes as u-beaut 100% Australian gum tree.)

I told her that I'd turned the book into an app (Name Guru app: http://www.nameguruapp.com/) and that I was promoting the app via my youtube interviews. Of which 'Glenis' was one.

She watched it, and laughed so hard I thought she might undergo a cardiac arrrest.......

so, I'll see you all back there again for next week's match.

Good luck. May the universal god's smile upon you.

love Hock !!

Days of Hock, blog No 1

Greetings.
(while I'm writing this, at the library(my internect connection has gone to shit today) a tall girl 5 metres away is quielty sneezing, and almost stuffing her face into a row of books to secretly hide her embarrassment.....)

Anyway, I'm Hock. One of the reasons I'm here is to help remind any and everyone who reads this is that we attract every person and event in our lives. Occasionally I will have a question and I will tap into the Universe's answer by using the next song line I happening to be listeining to at the time. The results are amazing.

eg. the next ipod line is, "radiation, feel the force, a bombing horse..." which nicely describes the entire process of 'song lyric divination'.

But I digress. Dreams are a huge part of my life, and aside from various moments of social, philosophical, comical and spiritual comment, i will occasionally tell you of a dream that explained this that and the other.

I had the following dream about six years ago. No idea why. I've always called it ........

THE TALISMAN

I'm at a gathering of super-powered and very gifted people.
In the great hall there is an audience of peers and the respective displays of each are performed at one end.

One guy was due to be last, apparently he was the talisman - the gifted one - to whom each of us could only wonder about. I didn’t know what he did, no one did, but in the meantime each person did their thing.

In the meantime there was one guy who could somehow transform the air around him so’s to make it look like opaque leggo blocks. There were many others…..a bunch of gorgeous naked women beckoned me into their shower in the middle of all of this.

Back out in the warehouse thing, it was my turn to show my wares and I felt rather silly because all I could do was throw a baseball as far as I liked. At my bequest, the back of the building suddenly slid open and there was a field about 1km in length. At the far end of the paddock was a tall piece of wrought iron. It was brown in colour and a good 40 or 50 metres high.
‘ok’, I said, to the sitting audience. 'I'm going to throw the ball and hit it.’

I turned to face my target. I wound up and I threw the ball with all my might and while the ball made it nearly all the way- a good 5 or 6 hundred metres- its travel through the air wasn’t that quick. Truth be known, the ball grew so small that all I could do was listen for the noise of it hitting the wall, which I definitely heard. Just.

Sadly, the crowd was non-plussed. As was I, to be honest.
Then, as I walked back to my seat, there came the talisman who’d seen enough. He looked at me as I passed him and I don’t think he even acknowledged me.
What ever he was about to do was putting a expectant hush of impending greatness through the crowd.
‘What can he possible do that was so amazing?’ I thought to myself, as intrigued as anyone.

Then it began.

He got to the front of the crowd, turned to face us, and he began to spin like a dancer. Immediately a visual whirlwind formed around him. He spun and spun, moving so fast that I couldn’t even really see him. Suddenly, all that I saw around me began to alter - the people, the warehouse, everything. Shortly all of it dropped away and all I could see, as he spun and whirled in his own mini tornado, was the universe.

I could see the stars and the planets as surely as if I was hovering in space. My body didnt exist. Earth was gone. And he’d created it.
It was a miracle.

He’d created the universe.

He was the talisman.


The End.


Anyway, we'll talk! I'll talk about my app (Name Guru) next time. And a quick video about Jake.....


Cheers.
Hock