Sunday, May 20, 2012

Another market day, life, death, blindness, greatness, etc

 Hello ladies and gentlemen,

And welcome to another segment from the markets, which have been unaffected despite the turmoil in Greece and Europe. Indeed, not much has changed. Aside, of course, from the wonderful blend of weirdos that show up at my stall, here at the Eumundi markets. 'Why shouldn't I call my son Clint?', the book, is the reason we're here today, and fine bunch we're confronted with.
On the right, from left to right, we have, Katie, Linda, Sandra, Kyle (the name of the facial expression given to a man who has just been kicked in the nuts), Vanitta, Jane and Warren ( looking away, and i dont blame him.)
According to the book, and the Name Guru app.....

Warren: As a variety of ferret, Warren is pure white in colour when he is clean but, generally, he's a dull shitty brown, he smells odd and he bites. 

 A quick family message now. My cousin, Dani, is married to a crazy South African (when are they not?) called Pook. He goes bike riding, (and in this case, the kind of bike riding where you leap off rocks, fall 20 metres and hope that the top of the gum tree you're falling into will catch you) with the bloke on the right, whose name is Pat. To be honest, he doesnt look like a 'Pat'. His partner Sue, arrived on almost a record day for 'Sue'. i met at least 8 of them. Maybe more. Indeed, is it the most common name in Austrlia for girls over the age of 25? Anyway, it was lovely to 

Yep. Me hard at work.....

The girls, from left to right, Pam, Meril, Elaine, Gail, Lisa, Mel, Kate, Kim, Leisa and another Lisa, there at the end. No, they weren't there in a group, although they kind of look like they should be. No, none of them bought a book, i just like the photo.....
There were a couple of photos I never took, or rather didn't think to take, but I'd like to tell you the story, in case  you're having a day that you think isn't that much fun.... About two weeks ago, the first week of May, give or take, I was at my stall dealing with a stack of people in front of me, when two girls arrived, Phoebe and Fiona. Being totally blind, Fi held Phoebe's arm tight and they stayed at my stall for ages. Laughing bloody hard. I mean, both girls weren't shy, and after two years at the markets, nearly, only a few times can I recall the volume of laughter being similar. Phoebe could barely read aloud her name theory.....

Pheobe: Her father is certifiably insane, which explains why Phoebe is as complicated as she is. So it's not all her fault, classically speaking, but Phoebe is pretty cool. Keep and eye on her if you like, but she'll be fine.

Bloody funny. Likewise, both of them utterly killed themselves with laughter at Fiona's description.
Fi: "Get out of my way!" she barks, heading for the bar/party/car keys/front of the queue/fridge/bedroom/spa/diving platform/dance floor/anything.

After recovering somewhat, she tilts her head in my direction, people and noise all around us and says, "Yeah! I'm in AA, too!"
Evidently, she just had her hair done, which is why she liked Fiona....

Fiona:There are no in-betweens with Fiona. Either she's plain and a bit dull, or she is incredibly sexy, ambitious, charasmatic and occasionally stressed. Regardless of which one she is, however, Fiona would go to the hairdresser every day if she could. Outside her bad days - of which there are at least five every week - she's surprisingly chilled out.

The following market day, Wendy and Michael ( ???I think...) arrived at my stall and Wendy was in raptures from start to finish. She couldn't believe her name theory, and how hilariously accurate it was....

Wendy: Like a shower that seems to have a personality all to itself, Wendy is scattered, lively and occasionally slightly awkward.

Her and Michael (catholic school boy........if it was memory is a little vague here, and I cant find my notes for the day..) stayed for a while, checked out a stack of names and left. they didn't buy a book and that was okay. But, having thought about, Wendy suddenly appeared through some people back at my stall ten minutes or so later, determined to take one away.
"We're having drinks later with a friend of ours who has terminal cancer. She's got a great sense of humour and will love this book," Wendy said.
The ladies name is Peta, and apparently it is melanoma. I asked Wendy how Peta was coping, how she was dealing with the notion that it was all about to come to some kind of 'end', and she smiled. She said she was great, and dealing with it brilliantly.

These are the moments I love the most - knowing that the book is out there making people laugh hard.

And for the record....

Peta: All of us have issues of some variety and Peta's stem from having to repeatedly prove her feminity to the world. Not that she gives a shit, really, but the result is a tough and independent hombre.

Amen to that. And don't forget the sunscreen.

Love hock xx

I'll see you streaming live on air at, Mondays 4pm East Australia time....

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